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What exactly is viewer discretion? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on. --George Carlin
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Why would anyone want to read Soap Opera Digest? You're reading gossip about people who don't exist! --Margot Black
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I don't know what's wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman. --Bruce Baum
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Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked Brightness, but it doesn't work. --Gallagher
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TV is chewing gum for the eyes. ‑‑Frank Lloyd Wright
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In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness you send out for it. --Rex Reed
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When I was a child, there were times when we had to entertain ourselves. And usually the best way to do that was to turn on the TV. --Jack Handey
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Slogan of 105.9, the classic rock radio station in Chicago: "Of all the radio stations in Chicago...we're one of them."
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Our comedies are not to be laughed at. --Samuel Goldwyn
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart. --Fred Allen
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If you found yourself in a situation where you could either save a drowning man, or you could take a Pulitzer prize winning photograph of him drowning, what shutter speed and setting would you use? --Paul Harvey
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. --Groucho Marx
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If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. --Johnny Carson
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A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. --Bob Hope
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Kid to his Dad as they watch TV: "Dad, tell me again how when you were my age you had to walk all the way across the room to change a channel."
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Television has raised writing to a new low. --Samuel Goldwyn
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To all those people who said my show wouldn't last, I have one thing to say, "Good call!" --Jon Stewart
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To all those people who said my show wouldn't last, I have one thing to say, "Good call!" --Jon Stewart
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The first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague. --Bill Cosby
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When Peter Beardsley appears on television, Daleks hide behind the sofa. --Nick Hancock
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It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. --Rod Sterling
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MTV is the lava lamp of the 1980's. --Doug Ferrari
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Dealing with Television network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks. --Eric Sevareid
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If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them. --Will Rogers.
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A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. --Bob Hope
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Nobody believes the official spokesman, but everybody trusts an unidentified source. --Ron Nesen
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Jon Bon Jovi and I have a lot in common. Jon plays the guitar; I like to play the guitar. Jon wears a leather jacket; I like to wear a leather jacket. Jon Bon Jovi was one of the 50 most beautiful people in People magazine; I like to read People magazine. -John Kerry
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Poor Michael Jackson and these sex allegations. As if it's not bad enough him being a Jehovah's Witness, they're accusing him of behaving like a catholic priest! --Billy Connolly
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Hollywood is where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors. -Walter Winchell
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As soon as folk see my face on the movie screen they know two things: First, I'm not going to get the girl and second, I'll get a cheap funeral before the picture is over. --Lee Marvin
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I am not a demon. I am a lizard, a shark, a heat-seeking panther. I want to be Bob Denver on acid playing the accordion. --Nicolas Cage
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Advertising is an environmental striptease for a world of abundance. --Marshall McLuhan
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Remember the good old days when the only bomb you had to worry about on a plane was the Rob Schneider movie? --Jay Leno
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Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special. --Chris Rock
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I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. --Jack Benny
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Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff. --Mariah Carey
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What exactly is viewer discretion? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on. --George Carlin
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Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you will find the real tinsel underneath. –Oscar Levant
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Can't the Marx Brothers be arrested and maybe even tortured for all the confusion and problems they've caused? --Jack Handey
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